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Feb 012012

In the horror spoof Transylvania 6-5000, tabloid reporters Jack (Jeff Goldblum) and Gil (Ed Begley Jr.) are sent to Transylvania to get a scoop on the Frankenstein monster. However, this takes place in the “modern day”. So the odds of getting such a scoop are slim to none.

After Jack and Gil arrive in Transylvania, Gil asks the locals if they’ve seen Frankenstein, only to make him and Jack a laughing stock. What was he thinking?

Michael Richards is hilarious as Fejos the butler with his catchphrase, “Is good, eh?” Fejos is a klutz, but creatively funny. You never know where you’ll find him or what he’ll do next for a laugh with all those secret passages throughout the hotel.

Soon Gil finds a lead on the monster story. Dr. Malavaqua (Joseph Bologna, who I remember best as Nick Foley from Rags to Riches) lost his medical license for practicing medicine. Hmm, curious. Maybe there is something monstrous going on after all, but what?

As it turns out, Malavaqua is a mad scientist, but only when he’s in the secret laboratory. Outside of it, he’s completely sane and friendly. What is it about the lab that changes him so quickly?

Another crazy character is Odette (Geena Davis), who is a vampire that loves Gil to pieces. She may be a nymphomaniac, but I think Odette really does have feelings for him.

While in the forest, Jack and Gil run into other monsters. They include Frankenstein (Petar Buntic), the Wolfman (Donald Gibb), and Twisto (Dusko Valentic) a mangled man. But they’re not real monsters, are they?

This was a classic film and a good example of a creative monster movie, even if there is no gore in it.

Apr 292011

For my 300th post, I have decided to add a few extra vampire women to my list of favorites.

We all know the most common role of female vampires in pop culture. She seduces a victim before putting the bite on him. However, there are also vamps that are much different and I find their peculiarities enjoyable as well. I have here a list of my top five favorite vampire women who have qualities that are highly out of the ordinary.

#5) Harmony (Mercedes McNab) from Buffy the Vampire Slayer: She used to be the queen bee of Sunnydale High School after Cordelia stepped down. During graduation, Harmony was bitten and became a vampire. Now normally when that happens, the victim’s personality changes when their humanity is gone. Here’s the thing, Harmony’s personality didn’t change at all. She has only become more materialistic, which can drive other vampires and some victims up the wall. Spike will tell ya, since they used to live in a cave together.

#4) Katrina (Grace Jones) from Vamp: This vampire is a seductive stripper with an odd sense of style. Katrina doesn’t speak, but if a guy wants her she digs right in. When Katrina reveals her fangs, she goes from beautiful to horrifying in a matter of seconds with a werewolf-like presence and fast growing toenails. In a way, Katrina is even scarier than Regine Dandridge from Fright Night Part 2, and that’s saying a lot. When she bites a victim, she slurps his blood right up. That’s right, slurp. Ewe!

#3) Vam-Mi (Kira Clavell and voice of Saffron Henderson) from: Ninja Turtles, the Next Mutation: This fiercely wicked Chinese vampire was separated from her heart years ago and given to the turtles. She will do anything to get it back, otherwise she will die. Vam-Mi is 2000 years old, indestructible, and a total drama queen. Even her master, the Ancient Grand Vampire Prince of the first blood, thinks she’s the silliest vampire he’s ever known because the turtles keep kicking her butt.

#2) Odette (Geena Davis) from Transylvania 6-5000: Although she’s not really a vampire, she likes to use that guise to get male attention. Odette is a sneaky beauty and is more of a nymphomaniac than a seductress, but she’s friendly, sometimes too friendly. No wonder she’s usually chained to the wall.

#1) Space Girl (Mathilda May) from Lifeforce: I’d have to say that she is the most unusual vampire in the bunch. Not only because she’s unnamed and comes from outer space, but also has different methods to claim victims. Space Girl seduces with telepathy and uses electrical impulses to literally suck people dry and can jump into different bodies to keep from getting caught by anyone. Space Girl is beautiful and never shows any fangs, unlike other vampires, but is still just as dangerous. I’ll tell ya, it doesn’t get much weirder than that.