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Oct 282015

Welcome to another Halloween themed top 10 list. This year it’s about my most favorite wicked witches in pop culture. Just to set the record straight, there is a difference between witchcraft and sorcery, although it is hard to tell sometimes. Be sure to check out my Top 10 Wicked Sorceresses list for a comparison. Now here are the witches.

#10) Witchiepoo (Billie Hayes) from H.R. Pufnstuf: Witches don’t come any sillier than her. In fact, you can tell just by the sound of her name that Witchiepoo is more funny than creepy. She is intent on capturing young Jimmy and stealing his talking flute Freddie, but never succeeds. It doesn’t help that Witchiepoo has bumbling henchmen and a talking castle that doesn’t believe in her. Of course that’s what makes this witch so interesting and memorable.

#9) The Sanderson Sisters from Hocus Pocus: Known as Winifred (Bette Midler), Mary (Kathy Najimy), and Sarah (Sarah Jessica Parker), this trio of witches intends to steal the life force from children for the soul purpose of staying forever young. They tend to bumble through situations while adjusting to the more modern world, since they’re from 300 years in the past, but that’s what makes them hilarious. However, these witches are also dangerous and creepy, so you definitely don’t want to get on their bad sides.

#8) Mirror Queen (Monica Bellucci) from The Brothers Grimm: This nameless beauty was vain and selfish, then eventually killed by the plague. Now as a vengeful spirit, the Mirror Queen has the power to possess an entire forest and capture young girls in creepy and mysterious ways to steal their youth. Seriously, what is it with old witches wanting to stay young?

#7) Maja from Adventure Time: This sky witch is known for taking various objects that contain sentimental affection for great power. In addition to that, Maja can fly, shoot bolts of electricity from her hands, and has an edgy distorted voice. At least she believes in fair trade, compared to most wicked witches.

#6) Taminella Grinderfall from Muppets franchise: This character was always cast as the wicked witch in some of the old Muppet fairytale specials like Tales of the Tinkerdee and The Frog Prince. Her methods of deceit are often silly and easy to see through, but they always seem to succeed, especially with King Goshposh. Since Taminella was never featured again after her defeat in The Frog Prince, she has definitely become underrated.

#5) Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bonham Carter) from Harry Potter franchise: Among many of Voldemort’s followers, Bellatrix is the most loyal as well as the most psychotic. She takes pleasure in killing anyone who crosses her and has sparked a personal vendetta with Neville Longbottom, since she was the one who tortured his parents. What really makes Bellatrix stand out is her crazy and sadistic persona, which is something any evil master ought to look for in a henchwoman.

#4) Theodora (Mila Kunis) from Oz the Great and Powerful: The Wicked Witch of the West has always been an iconic character. However, it’s the one in this movie version that stands out because it reveals how this wicked witch came to be. It’s so interesting to know that Theodora used to be good, then was driven to become a heartless monster. I’ve never been able to see the Wicked Witch of the West the same way again after that.

#3) Evil Willow (Alyson Hannigan) from Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Willow Rosenberg is a witch that has always been a loyal member of Buffy’s Scooby team. In season six, her girlfriend Tara was murdered and that pushed Willow to a breaking point. That drove her to take revenge and nearly destroy the world. It can be tough to see such a good character go bad, but Evil Willow’s edgy presence and determination makes her a witch you wouldn’t want to face in a dark alley.

#2) Queen Jadis (Tilda Swinton) from Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: Best referred to as the White Witch, this self-proclaimed queen rules the land of Narnia with an iron fist and turns anyone who crosses her into stone. She won’t hesitate to hurt or kill others and is quick to judge when her servants’ loyalty is compromised.

Jadis has made appearances in the sequels and even the animated version was good. One thing is for certain. The White Witch is as evil as they come.

#1) Nancy Downs (Fairuza Balk) from The Craft: This troubled teen is the head of her coven and desires great power, so she can use it to get what she wants. Eventually, Nancy lets that go to her head and ends up losing her sanity. As wickedly crazy as she is, I think Nancy is also likable, especially when she smiles. That is why I rank her at the top of this list.

Jul 162012

Following the success of Independence Day, there came a sci-fi film about Martians invading Earth with an all-star cast called Mars Attacks!.

It starts with hundreds of spaceships arriving on Earth, covering every square inch of the planet. After careful consideration, the President of the United States James Dale (Jack Nicholson) informs everyone by televising an announcement that these aliens could be peaceful.

Before the aliens actually land though, the movie jumps around in several directions. None of these scenes have very much to do with preparing for the aliens’ arrival. It’s just random people doing random things and played by some big stars. They include Martin Short, Danny DeVito, Michael J. Fox, Annette Bening, Jack Black, and others.

Pam Grier, who I met at Cult Fiction Drive-in 2011, is also in this movie.

That begins to change when TV show hostess Nathalie Lake (Sarah Jessica Parker) interviews Professor Donald Kessler (Pierce Brosnan) about his thoughts of the aliens as an expert in astronautics. It would go so much smoother if Nathalie would just cut down on the flirting.

It’s soon revealed that the aliens are cheesy-looking Martians that speak a bizarre language. Once they land and the leaders greet the U.S. Army and everyone who arrives on the scene, the Martians say that they come in peace. Then all of a sudden, they attack and kill people with their laser blasters as if they were having fun doing it. Nobody could have seen that coming, as rude as it was of those Martians.

With Professor Kessler’s help, the President tries to make things right with the Martians. The killing spree earlier was believed to be a cultural misunderstanding because there was a dove released to celebrate the peace and the dove was the first to be shot.

The Congress meets up with the Martians again, but this time with no applause and no birds. The Martian Ambassador is apologetic, then suddenly out of the blue, the martians kill everyone as before. Seriously, what is with these aliens? Can’t any Earthlings even talk to them without getting shot and turned into a colorful skeleton?

By this point, everyone is convinced that these Martians have no humility and like to kill for fun. The Martians even tried to infiltrate the White House and shoot up a Tom Jones concert in Vegas while destroying the Earth. How low can these monsters get?

Now the entire human race tries to escape the Martians with their lives, but an unlikely hero finds their weakness, which is a very unusual one, I might add.

I admit that this wasn’t much of a favorite. The story wasn’t too bad, but the way these Martians manipulate people is awful.