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Apr 042014

Figure skating has never looked funnier than on the comedy Blades Of Glory. Graceful Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder) and unintelligent sex addict Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell) are rival Olympic figure skaters, who tie for a gold medal. You’d think a tie was a good thing, but this one ended up a disaster. Jimmy and Chazz get into a fight, which gets them both banned from figure skating for life.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Jimmy’s adoptive father, billionaire Darren MacElroy (William Fichtner), disowns Jimmy because all he cares about is winning. What a jerk!

I met Jon Heder at MegaCon 2014 and he liked my shirt. I’m surprised that no one else wore this one.

All is not lost though. There’s actually a loophole that Jimmy and Chazz weren’t really banned from figure skating entirely, just their division, men’s single skaters. They can return in pair skating. Coach Robert (Craig T. Nelson), who trained Jimmy, has the two rival skaters team up as a pair. It won’t be easy since they still struggle to get along.

The real threat is pair skating champions Stranz (Will Arnett) and Fairchild (Amy Poehler) Van Waldenberg. These siblings will do anything to remain gold medallists, even cheat by forcing their sister Katie (Jenna Fischer) to spy on the competition.

Katie tries to stand up to her brother and sister, but they always remind her about how their parents died in a car crash while taking Katie to skating practice. They take advantage of it by making Katie their slave.

Despite their different personalities, Jimmy and Chazz become good friends and perform well on the ice together. The new outfits they wear represent fire and ice, which is appropriate.

Even though Jimmy and Chazz make it to the finals, Coach Robert believes that in order for them to win the gold they’ll have to do something special. It’s a very dangerous technique called the “Iron Lotus”, which always ended up in decapitation. I know ice skate blades are sharp, but are they really that sharp?

Meanwhile, Katie becomes Jimmy’s love interest and doesn’t give into her siblings anymore. That prompts Stranz and Fairchild to resort to foul play. The intensity is high for both skating duos now.

This was a funny movie and I loved it. It’s nice to see how the same sport that made Jimmy and Chazz enemies also brought them together as a team.

Jul 302012

The cleverly hilarious fairytale spoof is back in Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil. As much as I enjoyed the first Hoodwinked movie, I looked so forward to this one. This time Red (voice of Hayden Panettiere), Granny Puckett (voice of Glenn Close), the Wolf (voice of Patrick Warburton), and Twitchy the squirrel are a team of secret agents for the Happily Ever After Agency (HEA for short).

The mission at hand is based on Hansel and Gretel. Two children, Hansel (voice of Bill Hader) and Gretel (voice of Amy Poehler), are being held captive by a wicked witch (voice of Joan Cusack). The rescue mission appears simple, but the team is troubled because Red is training elsewhere and the Wolf is a total screw up, even though he’s clever with disguises.

Then it becomes an exciting chase through the forest as Granny goes after the witch on a motorcycle, but ends up getting captured herself. I have to admit though. The witch’s rocket powered broom is amazing.

Meanwhile, as Red trains with the Sisterhood of Kung fu bakers, her skills are as sharp as ever, but she struggles to control her temper whenever her enemies call her a coward for walking away from a fight.

The mission becomes even more perilous because not only does the witch have Hansel, Gretel, and Granny, she has also taken the ultimate recipe for a super truffle from the Sisterhood. Now Red and Wolf must team up, whether they like it or not.

While on the search for where the witch is hiding, Red and Wolf head for the Beanstalk Club and meet up with the Giant (voice of Brad Garrett), who is a big time mobster, emphasis on big.

Later, Red and Wolf head over to the London Bridge Asylum to get information from their old nemesis Boingo the Bunny (voice of Andy Dick). He’s tied down like Hannibal Lecter, even though he was merely a recipe bandit. It was still neat to see Boingo again and he appears more sinister than before.

Another character who returns is Kirk the Woodsman (voice of Martin Short). He is now a star with the Happy Yodelers. I didn’t expect him to return in this movie, but he and the yodelers help out Red and Wolf when the chips are down. However, there’s a real twist I never would’ve seen coming once the secret of the witch is revealed.

This sequel was definitely as great as I thought it would be, especially with the return of Japeth the singing goat (voice of Benjy Gaither). He wanders around randomly and always ends up clobbered as a running gag. Gotta love it.

Dec 102010

That adventurous ogre Shrek (voice of Mike Myers) is back in Shrek the Third (Widescreen Edition), where a new exciting adventure awaits in the land of Far Far Away. Now that Shrek and Fiona (voice of Cameron Diaz) are accepted as an ogre couple, they soon have to learn the proper customs that come with their new lifestyle as heirs to the throne. Unfortunately, the responsibilities become too much for them to handle. I didn’t know it required dressing like Mozart, wig and silk stockings in all.

Donkey (voice of Eddie Murphy) is now a father of quints, who are all half donkey and half dragon. Cute little hybrids, aren’t they?

Soon King Harold (voice of John Cleese) passes away, but he does tell Shrek that there is one other heir who could take over as the new king. He is Fiona’s cousin, Arthur Pendragon (voice of Justin Timberlake). So Shrek, Donkey, and Puss in Boots (voice of Antonio Banderas) head out to find him, only to find out that Fiona is pregnant. Now Shrek ends up having nightmares about ogre babies, hundreds of them. Talk about a population explosion.

Meanwhile, Prince Charming (voice of Rupert Everett) seeks revenge on Shrek and Fiona for the death of his mother the Fairy Godmother as well as a chance for redemption. Charming gathers all of the fairytale villains he can find to attack the castle and raid the town. Did they just turn a boot shop into a Hooters? Oh, yeah.

Shrek, Donkey, and Puss arrive at Worchestire Academy, which is a high school take on Camelot. Arthur turns out to be an underdog teenager, who is a constant target of bullying, but he is a good speaker when it comes to knowing how everyone should be treated. I wonder if he really is going to banish the jousting team. That’ll show them.

Back at the castle, Fiona’s baby shower guests include several top fairytale princesses. They include Cinderella (voice of Amy Sedaris), Snow White (voice of Amy Poehler), Sleeping Beauty (voice of Cheri Oteri), and Rapunzel (voice of Maya Rudolph), all portrayed as divas. After Fiona and Queen Lillian (voice of Julie Andrews) lead them to safety through the catacombs, Charming soon captures them all. It’s also revealed that Rapunzel is a traitor. Well, after I saw The Brothers Grimm, where the wicked queen inspired the story of Rapunzel, it didn’t surprise me at all. Can you believe it?

During the trip back, pirates and talking trees attack Shrek and the others in the woods. It’s real exciting how Shrek and Puss fight off those pirates armed with swords and cannons. “Look out! They’ve got a piano!”

With the help of Merlin (voice of Eric Idle), who is a retired magic teacher that wears Birkenstocks and no pants, Shrek and the others get back to Far Far Away to rescue Fiona and stop Prince Charming, only to get captured themselves. Now it’s Fiona’s turn to do the rescuing. It takes some extra convincing to get those diva princesses to help out. All together they are a team of warrior princesses with an edge. Now that’s totally awesome.

I’ll tell ya, this is the best Shrek movie to date. But is it truly the end of Prince Charming? It’s hard to say, since he doesn’t return in the next one.