Haunted Halloween Tales

You know how every year when stores have their Halloween merchandise out, and among them are Halloween CDs, which either have old songs or just a bunch of sound effects to set the mood?  Well, here are two Halloween tale albums that really stick out from the rest, narrated by Jack Dorsey.  No, I haven’t heard of him before either.

These were rare finds that I found among the used CD section at “Hastings” for only one dollar each.  According to the warning labels, they’re not recommended for children, or anyone of a timid disposition.

The first album is called A Night in a Haunted House, Night in a Graveyard. I’m not certain if it is available new, but as of this post it is only available from private sellers on Amazon.  Each track is narrated as if you were actually there exploring the area… alone.  It starts at the graveyard.  There are all sorts of perils from bad weather to a witches’ coven.  And I don’t mean the witches from Charmed or The Craft.  After crossing the dangerous bridge that somebody keeps telling you not to cross, you find a haunted house.  It’s not like Disney’s Haunted Mansion.  The way it’s described was like poetry.  “There’s a big dark house near here.  A very large and derelict house. …It’s built on a hill.  A strange and baron hill.  A place where birds don’t sing and animals won’t go.  Horses shy, and dogs run with hackles raised in freight.”  Beautiful, but scary.

Inside the haunted house are even more perils.  They include dangerous animals like bats in the belfry, a snake pit, and the hounds of hell.  And creepy rooms like the haunted ballroom, a chamber of horrors, and the room of eternal silence.  Ain’t that something?  It has helped me understand what kind of settings can make a horror movie, outside of the killers, ghosts, and monsters.

The second album is called The Headless Horseman and Other Harrowing Halloween Tales (Enactment) Audio Cd; Along with Halloween Nightmare, Haunted House Horror, Witches’ Coven, a Visit to the Torture Chamber and Witches’ Rap. Over 60 Minutes. (Audio Cd).  These were told more like actual Halloween tales, but it sets the same type of mood with the sound effects and narration.  The narrator calls himself the man in black, or the voice of darkness.  He didn’t have a name or any credits on the other album, but I could tell it was the same guy.

One of my favorite stories on this album was “A Visit to the Torture Chamber”.  It’s like taking a tour while seeing victims being tortured on all of those medieval devices.  It even includes a lion pit, the man in the iron mask, and teens being forced to listen to music that’s #1 on the pop charts endlessly at an unbearable volume.  No, it’s not Miley Cyrus.  This story also familiarized me with the different types of torture devices I’ve seen in museums.  All that’s missing here is the scorcher.  And what better way to end the album and balance out the horror level than with “Witches Rap”, which features some of the dialogue from the story “Witches Coven”.

These are great albums for Halloween.  As the man in black would say, “Good night.  Sleep well.”  I guess Elvira had already taken the better phrase.  “Unpleasant dreams.”